e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

thelastmellophone:


mischievouslaufeyson:

sktagg23:

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because I’m still charged 5% tax on sanitary products because they’re classed as ‘non-essential’ by the government. 

What the motherfuck.

Solve this by bleeding on everything they love.

*AGGRESSIVELY PROJECTILE BLEEDING AT POLITICIANS* ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW, MR. POLITICIAN?

thelastmellophone:

mischievouslaufeyson:

sktagg23:

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because I’m still charged 5% tax on sanitary products because they’re classed as ‘non-essential’ by the government. 

What the motherfuck.

Solve this by bleeding on everything they love.

*AGGRESSIVELY PROJECTILE BLEEDING AT POLITICIANS* ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW, MR. POLITICIAN?

helioscentrifuge:

nox-artemis:

k1ngdra:

FUN FACT: Santa uses parkour to be able to visit every house in the world in just one night

This makes sense.

assanta’s creed

helioscentrifuge:

nox-artemis:

k1ngdra:

FUN FACT: Santa uses parkour to be able to visit every house in the world in just one night

This makes sense.

assanta’s creed

releasings:


hobbitdragon:

ddollley:

I just made the most inhuman noise

WHEN IT REALIZES THE PERSON IS STILL THERE AND GOES BACK TO BEING ‘DEAD’

oh my god

releasings:

hobbitdragon:

ddollley:

I just made the most inhuman noise

WHEN IT REALIZES THE PERSON IS STILL THERE AND GOES BACK TO BEING ‘DEAD’

oh my god
wcjobber:

sharkchunks:

metal-rican:

ghostoflalonde:

So uhh, my clothing dye ate through my gloves…..

+3 spellcasting +1 summoning EFF: 2XDAM vs undead

The tattoo makes it more demonic than undead.

So Now You’re a Necromancer: Beginner’s Guide.

wcjobber:

sharkchunks:

metal-rican:

ghostoflalonde:

So uhh, my clothing dye ate through my gloves…..

+3 spellcasting +1 summoning EFF: 2XDAM vs undead

The tattoo makes it more demonic than undead.

So Now You’re a Necromancer: Beginner’s Guide.

sammybitchfacewinchester:

fricken-nuggets:

fricken-nuggets:

Whats red and bad for your teeth?

a brick

well you’re not wrong

gaga-made-me-gay:

dutchster:

do celebrity pets know they’re pets of celebrities

image

yes

escapedgoat:

xxvalleygirlxx:

When a nigga call you baby in a deep raspy voice

image

When a baby call you nigga in a deep raspy voice

image

"Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend."
mc-squidward:

doragray:

jennlferlawrence:

frostingpeetaswounds:

i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”

the twilight one is like abstract poetry

If you read it all together it’s like the most awkward, tense conversation ever.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen," I sighed. Nothing happened.
"I don’t know," he sighed.
Harry looked around, I shake my head and shrugged.
Harry stared. “I am seventeen years old.”
I frowned and he waited.
"My home is District 12."
Harry chuckled and said nothing. Now I wish I had.
I laughed. We looked at each other. I swallowed hard. He shrugged. Harry blinked and hesitates. I flinched.
He looked around. “I’m not really surprised.”
I took a deep breath, something he didn’t have last time. “Something is wrong.”
He didn’t answer. He stood up.

OMG

mc-squidward:

doragray:

jennlferlawrence:

frostingpeetaswounds:

i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”

the twilight one is like abstract poetry

If you read it all together it’s like the most awkward, tense conversation ever.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen," I sighed. Nothing happened.

"I don’t know," he sighed.

Harry looked around, I shake my head and shrugged.

Harry stared. “I am seventeen years old.”

I frowned and he waited.

"My home is District 12."

Harry chuckled and said nothing. Now I wish I had.

I laughed. We looked at each other. I swallowed hard. He shrugged. Harry blinked and hesitates. I flinched.

He looked around. “I’m not really surprised.”

I took a deep breath, something he didn’t have last time. “Something is wrong.”

He didn’t answer. He stood up.

OMG

thewicked-eternity